Four years ago today I received a message from my youngest daughter. It was congratulatory. She was hours away from birthday number twenty. Melissa probably sensed that I was struggling with her absence while she chased her dreams….with her friends….celebrating without me, a day I was pretty much responsible for. (Insert a tiny bit of sarcasm.) In her greeting she reminded me this milestone meant I would never again be the parent of a teenager, so my worries of teen drug addiction, rebellion, and pregnancy were over! Her humor brought a smile to my face, but as my readers know, the default color scheme of my mind tends to be a little less than ‘day glow.’
Motherhood, and I suspect fatherhood too, brought the greatest love I ever knew. Yes, God loves us far more than we could ever imagine, but up until I had a child, I was unaware of this sacrificial, all consuming, no cost is too great kind of love. This love left me vulnerable to great pain, which created fear, and this consumed much of my mental energy as I awaited the arrival of my child/children. There was no option but to move forward and do all I knew to do: Give them back to the One who created them, then hit my knees and follow the model Jesus lived.
I am not a perfect parent. There has been much weeping, whaling and gnashing of teeth over the years. Once while changing sheets on a bed, I stepped on a piece of dead cheese, so dried and hard I bruised my foot. One child had a pet goat that could open locked gates and front doors! These things were a huge problem for this controlling, clean freak! We had some issues!
Sometimes attitudes need to recalibrate and new respect must be found among the interpersonal relationships of those who are connected by love and DNA. When my girls are angry with me, often rightly so, I give them total freedom to be as much unlike their mom as they possibly can, with one exception. I know my Redeemer lives and one day I will be judged according to His Justice. In time, they will be also. They MUST know! In this there is no wiggle room.
So how is this one, single minded objective achieved? By kneeling! Prayer is the only way. It grants patience, hope, reckless love, perspective and a vision for the person God created him/her to be. (Leah loves farm animals, and I don’t like smelly boots! I wanted her to be Betty Crocker! She became the farmer God designed her to be!)
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
Jesus was preparing His disciples for a grim, frightening few days as His crucifixion was just hours away, but a future full of hope and victory was about to be born. Is this not parallel to the seasons of every relationship man shares with others, especially family? We must love in order to be strong! It is not in being loved that we find our power, but in accessing the wisdom and authority of The Holy Spirit by loving others.
I cannot force my children into Heaven, but God’s love through me sure makes the devil’s efforts a lot less relevant. Love Big! It Never Fails! I Corinthians 13:8a
Love,
Gretchen
P.S. Happy Birthday my precious child! You are loved beyond measure.