The Great Conundrum
The first distinguishable words out of my children’s mouths were, “No.” And “Why?”
“Yes,” or “Mother, I see and respect your point,” would have been grand but, all I got was monosyllabic defiance and quandary.
The self-actualization of one’s child means the end of life as you knew it. The power of “No,” combined with the urge to find one’s place in a huge, unknown world and get everyone sorted out as to who’s in charge and whose comfort takes priority is very tricky early development for both parent and child.
As a mother I said, “Because I said so,” more often than I should have, but I knew my child’s well being depended on my absolute authority. Free thinking was not encouraged when I was trying to get everyone headed out the door or manage healthy eating and sleeping habits. I realized early that there must be a balance between my way, and their input into family harmony and dynamics. Yet, a terror lingered in my heart. By saying ‘yes’ I would cripple my child’s spiritual being because they must fear me in order to fear God.
I wasn’t wrong, but just as my child matured, so did I. Joshua 24:15 says, “But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”
Joshua was nearing the end of his life and leadership of the new nation of Israel. He was telling his friends and family, with great authority, exactly what he was going to do. He drew them to the realization that their choices were their own, along with the consequences they brought.
This passage gives tremendous insight and freedom in balancing the yeses and noes of others. Joshua made up his mind and the negative actions of someone else would not influence his faith. He shows great strength and trust that His God could do for everyone what He had done for him.
Then there was, “Why?”
I, like most, have a great fear of being wrong. This fear motivated me strongly to be a life long learner pursuing both knowledge and wisdom. When a little person that shares my DNA came along and began questioning everything from the color of the sky to “Do fish know they are wet?” I was frustrated and a bit overwhelmed. If I couldn’t even settle the simple things in life, how would I ever lead this little soul to a great and thriving faith?
If God chuckles I’m sure my worries and woes humor Him often, but He remains faithful. He actually loves the word, ‘Why?’ It is the beginning of knowledge and knowledge sought from God is the beginning of wisdom.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2
God is not threatened by our inquiries. He has the answers. He honors our seeking. He will withhold nothing and transform us to His perfect purpose.
So, as frustrating as ‘No’ and ‘Why’ are as parents, remember, they are the foundational blocks of great faith.
Love,
Gretchen