Who’s Child is This?
Many years ago my suspected pregnancy was medically confirmed and I became a mom. It was an unplanned pregnancy, but it was welcomed, and so began my campaign to be the best version of me that I possibly could. I took vitamins, read appropriate ‘mommy to be’ books, decorated a little nursery and waited!
My delivery was difficult and frightening, but the outcome was the world’s most beautiful child, a girl (the first of two perfect children). Keith and I buckled our little angel into her car seat, headed home and things got real! Actually, disastrous!!! My baby hated me. She didn’t want to nurse, she didn’t want to sleep. I attempted to bathe her in the manner the books advised. Soapy and wriggly, she screamed, stiffened and I nearly dropped her. At that moment I handed her to my mom and said, “I can’t imagine loving anything so much, but I don’t want to. The risk to my heart is too great. What if God takes her away? How will I survive?” Mom, the seasoned mother of four, took both of her wet and crying children, her daughter and her daughter’s daughter, sat down on the couch and held us both until we calmed. From the silence, holding my now sleeping child, mom gave me wise counsel, “Gretchen, give her back to her Heavenly Father. He loves her more than you do. It’s going to be alright.”
Time seemed to pick up speed but motherhood didn’t get any easier. Leah was everything I was not. She loved dirt, dogs, strangers, adventure and she had great hair!!! I was not equipped to her mom, but I loved her more than life itself and so I heeded my mother’s sage advise. I gave her back to the One that created her and I prayed. I prayed God would send her friends and together they would bring out the best in each other. I whispered prayers for the man that might someday be her prince charming, and I prayed that God would give me patience and wisdom when they ran in short supply.
God answered every petition. Many of those friends were adults that kept watch over the teens in our church and community, giving generously of their time and money, assuring quality things for farm kids to do, because Leah’s pets grew from dogs and cats, to chickens, goats, opossums, raccoons, rabbits and horses.
Prince charming made his grand arrival one sunny summer day and asked for her hand in marriage. I had a quiet season of tears over the magnitude of change that was upon me. The tears dried and we began to plan a wedding. Leah’s only request was that her special day be full of laughter and joy……… and could her dog be with her at the alter? Some things got left undone and some compromises were made, but laughter and joy reigned. It was beautiful and today she is living her happily ever after.
Returning my child to her Creator freed me to love without boundaries and know the same God that guided me through life’s storms and brought me the greatest joys this side of Heaven would do the same for her. When I remind my precious child that she is not mine, but His, she knows this world is not her home, and that’s really all I wanted in the first place. She is His, I am His and we are Family.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hoped, always perseveres. Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:4-8b.
Have an exceptionally great Sunday,
Gretchen
Gretchen you are an exceptionally wise person that shares from deep within your heart. I so appreciate you!
Thank you so much Linda. Thank you for reading too.