My parents have been married 57 years……to each other! In that time they raised four children who have all graduated college and are productive citizens. They are grandparents to nine amazing young people, who again, are all productive citizens. Sounds life a perfect life! And it very nearly is. But sometimes, bills, muddy floors, bad breath….the list will always continue…..interrupt the dream.
Mom and dad lived an appropriately open life behind the front door of the parsonage. There was no alternate reality among two parents and four children. It was the same seen by everyone who knew us, except we might be in our pajamas and Gayle’s hair would be a mess because she hated tight braids and pigtails.
In living color we had fights. Greg was the oldest and he got to do EVERYTHING! Gwen was the youngest and she never got in trouble!!!! (Screen this paragraph for sarcasm.) I was the second oldest and suffered great persecution, with dirty dishes that were never finished until they were dried, put away and all countertops and sinks were free of standing water and spots. Oh the anguish!
Laundry was also part of my domestic torture. Mother had a particular way of wanting things done. There was no money to replace clothes ruined by a novice, so she managed the sorting of colors, detergent and water temperature, then the transfer from washer to dryer, but I learned early how to fold and put away our family’s wardrobe. By mother’s standard, everything should look like it just came out of the package brand new. Her closets and chest of drawers still look nicer than the shelves at Macy’s. My father often mentions this when he comments on the longevity of their relationship, but it isn’t to brag about her servitude to him, he knows better than to imply THAT! He is recounting the extraordinary lengths she personally went to as an exemplary keeper of our home.
A few weeks ago during ‘Dad Therapy’ my father said, “Gretchen, do you know I can get up in the night and find everything I need without turning on a single light?” Big deal! But, throughout his ministry and years on volunteer emergency teams, he did indeed have to arise quietly and quickly to attend those in need. He continued, “There were times when mom and I couldn’t utter the words ‘I love you.’ ” The starry eyed dreams of a young marriage faded as responsibilities overwhelmed. Dad didn’t leave his thoughts there. He confessed, “I couldn’t say ‘I love you,’ but I could look at those socks and underwear, t-shirts and handkerchiefs and think, ‘I really appreciate all Sandy does for me.’ On my very worst day, I know I will have clean clothes and a beautiful meal. I was wise enough to appreciate when I was too immature to love.”
Mom set a strong standard for us all. We didn’t go out looking like urchins, homespun maybe, but not threadbare or improperly attired. When people came to our home, they didn’t leave hungry. And did I mention her perpetual warfare against dust bunnies? Yes, even in the places the public eye will never see, she conquers with lemon fresh Pledge.
God created man as a social species. Whether introvert or extravert, no one lives without a degree of dependance on someone else. Is it time to invest in some gratitude for your quality of life? We naturally focus on the absence of our perceived entitlements, but who is doing what you cannot or will not do for yourself or others?
We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers. We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
I Thessalonians 1:2-3
Thanks Mom and Dad, for everything.
Love,
Gretchen
